Today winter returned once more. The temps went below zero again, but this time the cold was accompanied by snowfall, covering the garden in white. A field fare (Turdus pilaris) – first time for me to see this bird – spends the late winter here, thriving on rose hips and left over fruits. Snowdrops are living up to their name and a spiderweb swaying in the wind, portentously catches snowflakes… the time for winter’s magic isn’t over just yet.
I could write about the stiffness inducing cold of the approaching winter and how I very much would like to hibernate together with the green in my garden. How I would like to sleep all day and wake up only to nurture my self and then return to sleep wonderland.
I could write about the past, present and future – the terminologies in and of themselves, happenings, the greater context, details… The form of thoughts and thought forms… How solutions are only possible when 1.) a problem has been recognized and 2.) the problem has been understood. But…
…for convenience we come up with problems that can be solved and ignore the problems we should solve.
The realization of this ignorance is the source of this moment of nihilistic reluctance. Every part of me screams change and action. Yet I am as paralyzed as the frozen tops of the plants in my garden.
It’s having cold snow-less nights and days. Sometimes it rains. Right now it’s freezing again and the green remain covered in white ice crystals. Yet the garden is filled with live. Song birds of all color strike up their daily pre-winter concerto. The white flower heads of the black hellebore show up when most other plants are dead above ground. Some plants also stay green despite or because the shortness of daylight, safe under a blanket of fallen leaves and taking advantage of the extra light that permeates through barren trees. The mandrake, rue and rosemary, which I planted in the raised bed, seem to be doing fine thus far.
I could write about how I am craving a glycerin equivalent in my blood to protect me against this debilitation. But the truth is, I cherish this moment. I insist on this temporary luxury. I enjoy this moment of purposeless Venusian fatigue and procrastination, of musing about my garden and the nature of time. Because I know it won’t last long. In fact, when I post this, it is already over. Time – this strange intangible abstract concept, which all and everything is subject to.
The future as the elimination of all possibilities save for one?
Physics says our perceived “flow of time” is actually more like a “frozen lake”, in which all possible events are already contained and that the notion of past, present and future is an illusion created only in our minds. Yet it is real on an everyday level. Because what is future is soon present and subsequently part of an unchangeable past. We still have to bother about the future and the consequences of our actions. On a larger level it means, that whatever I do in this second, my action already contains the consequences within it.
The universe as we know it moves away from an ordered state towards a disordered state. To uphold order requires effort/work/energy. Not only does the entropy increase but it does so exponentially until the literal end of time or until the entire universe will be “devoured” by black holes. Due to this ongoing process, which we are a part of, time cannot move backwards and we cannot go back in time and change it. My cells age, whether I want it or not. On a larger scale this process is part of the increase of the universe’s entropy. But depending on my location and movement this process may occur faster or slower. Because every object or person has its own time. Literally, my slice of time is different from your slice of time, depending on where I am located, whether I stand still or move and in which direction and how fast I move. Impacted by gravity a person at sea level may age faster than a person on a mountain.
Life is in a way, one huge effort at trying to maintain a higher ordered state against that primal impulse towards entropy and ultimately nothingness. Or perhaps it can also be viewed as an attempt at moving against the direction of the pre-established arrow of time, away from the increase of entropy and dissolution of time in a distant future and back towards a state of highest order at the beginning of time. A vain endeavor it may seem, yet it gives our ephemeral existence purpose and meaning.
Reflecting on these circumstances, I do well investing some of my limited life time into realizing the reality above and outside my own. Then I wouldn’t miss out on the greatness of the sheer impossibility that is my existence. Nothing is easy, everything else isn’t. In heated up times such as these, it is for example not easy to tend a garden. The only advice I can give to myself: when the mind feels cluttered or the ego feels hurt, go in front of the door, observe nature, read up on nature science, clean up and get back to work.
So much about my musings on time. I did without referencing any mythical creature or man-made deity. Only the “magic” of nature. In my next post I will hopefully write about my winter sowing. Also, new seed boxes are in the making, the last for 2016! 🙂